Last night we had one hell of an evening, and even though he downed fifteen pints of strong lager, the boy Tony was still able to seduce his way into another poor, unsuspecting girl's underwear. The "victim" this time was called Sally, aged twenty-two, who said that she came from California, and was in England with her parents. Of course, Tony just loves the american accent, and after amusing Sally with his wicked wit and near to the knuckle anecdotes, the two of them returned to the flat, to do what only comes naturally.
So last night he was on a high, but this morning he's depressed and all upset, because the lovely Sally left in the middle of the night, without even a goodbye.
Not even the promise a double bacon-cum-cheeseburger has cheered him up, and to make matters worse, the early morning radio show is beginning to get to him.
I mean, I can see his point. A woman has just telephoned the show to say that where she lives, in north London, it's impossible to find a place to park her car near to her house. The radio show host said that parking in big cities was today's number one "menace", and people should start to revolt against local authorities, until something is done about the problem.
Well, as Tony rightly said, before smashing his fist into the radio, he was of the opinion that terrorism was today's number one "menace", and not the lack of fucking parking spaces. He then said that he would love to go to the radio station and rip the host's head off his shoulders.
I sense that today is going to be full of hatred and tension, but then again, life would be so boring if it was anything but!