Sunday, 27 February 2011

The French Problem

Tony is well and truly excited. As I write, he's sat next door consuming a vast amount of lager, to celebrate England's victory over France in rugby. I'm only pleased that we won, not just because I'm English, but because if we had lost, Tony would have probably gone outside, pinned the first French person he found against a wall, and given him a damn good thrashing.
You see, Tony simply hates the French, and can't understand why so many tourists visit France, when, according to him, all there is to see "are millions of smelly people, sitting in shitty pavement cafes, talking absoulute fucking crap."
I reckon he's right, and like him, I can't think of anything decent to say about the country or its inhabitants.
As Tony says, French cimema is shit, their food is fucking awful, and red wine is no match for a decent pint of export-strength lager. Also, their cars are fucking crap, French people don't know how to enjoy themselves, and nobody understands a word that they fucking say.
Us two think that it was a mistake to build the channel tunnel, and as Tony rightly says, the money blown on joining our two nations together could have been better invested. He just shivers at the thought of our nation no longer being independent from the rest of Europe, and says that if the British people had been given the chance to vote on the subject, they would have said no to the tunnel.
Still, that's all in the past, but as the boy rightly says, we should keep at least one eye on our continental cousins, to make sure that Sarkozy doesn't do a "Napoleon", and think about invading us.
Once again, Tony is spot on, and can only be admired for his sense of patriotism!

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