Sunday, 20 February 2011

Money To Burn

It's been a very good week for us, and considering we're still unemployed, and have no interest in looking for work, Tony and me reckon that life is certainly getting a lot better for us.
After winning fifty pounds in last week's pub quiz, Tony was lucky enough to find somebody's wallet on the floor of the pub, when we celebrating our marvellous victory against some very tough opposition. Of course, I know that Tony didn't really find the wallet on the floor, but more likely helped himself to it, as he indulged himself in a little bit of pick-pocketing.
I must confess that the boy is really doing well in this particular field of petty crime, and although it's morally wrong to steal from other people, the fact that the victim was a german tourist made us both chuckle, as we guzzled the finest lager his money could buy. Stuffed in the wallet was the princely sum of three hundred pounds, together with seventy euros and a season ticket to Berlin Zoo. Tony says that he'll keep the ticket as a souvenir, and has also put the seventy euros to one side, because he's planning a day trip to the continent very soon.
The german complained to Sid the landlord that thieves were at work in his pub, and added that in Germany, innocent tourists are never the target of such cunning individuals. Sid just laughed, and after telling the German that he didn't give two fucks about him or his wallet, treated everybody in the pub to his Adolf Hitler impersonation. Needless to say, the german left in a bit of a hurry, saying as he left, in very poor English, that it's about time that us English forgot the war, and looked to the future.

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