Saturday, 13 August 2011

Balls, Beer & Some People From Germany

Tony and me have just returned from the pub, where we welcomed the start of the new football season by spending all afternoon drinking heavily, swearing loudly and generally enjoying ourselves.

I thought that Tony was going to burst with joy this morning, when he woke up and announced that it was officially the start of the new football season.

I haven't seen the boy this happy for ages, and although outside of our shitty flat it's pissing down with rain, we've got no food in the cupboards, and we're still unemployed, seeing our favourite team playing their first game of the season gave us a real boost.

Sadly, however, the afternoon was ruined for two reasons.

Firstly, Arsenal could only manage a poor goal-less draw, and secondly, the pub was full of German tourists.

Sid, the landlord of the pub, said he could do nothing about the match result, but after looking at all of the Germans in his pub, he wondered out aloud what winning the war had actually done for us.

Tony understood Sid's angst, and although our continental cousins were buying beer by the gallon, Sid said that although he liked to take the Germans' money, he will never be a fan of the Fatherland.

However, when the football was over, and the Germans were still lingering like flies around shit, Sid decided to entertain us all with his impression of Adolf Hitler.

Needless to say, our German friends soon got the message, and although it's true that it's probably time that we forgot about the war, as Tony said, apart from double cheeseburgers and fries, the thought of bombing the Germans in the last war is the only other thing that leaves him feeling happy.

Now, even though I've said it a hundred times before, I'll say it again: I'LL DRINK TO THAT!


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