Tony's been up all night on the internet, communicating with a couple of French girls called Sabrina and Emily, who he met in a virtual nightclub somewhere in cyberspace.
The object of the website is to help "students come together, to find real love in their lives."
It turns out that Sabrina and Emily are both studying medicine, and although they're not looking for love, they're looking to communicate with likeminded, English students, so they can improve their English, and get a grasp of what life is like in England.
Well, after Tony saw what Sabrina and Emily look like, he reckons that that the two of them wouldn't do any harm by grasping him, and giving him a much needed check-up. And in the hope that perhaps the three of them will come together, he told the two girls that he's currently studying law, and will probably start his own firm of lawyers in the next few years.
The boy reckons he's on to a real winner, and is now learning basic french, so he can impress his latest admirers with his knowledge of their language, before fucking them both on our beer-stained sofa.
Off course, Tony knows deep down that there's no real chance of him finding love with either Sabrina or Emily, and that he has little chance of learning french.
And what will a fat bastard like him make of a city like Paris? After all, it's all pavement cafes and people driving badly, whilst waving their arms around whenever they speak, and filling public places with their terrible body odour.
Then there's the baguettes, the Eiffel Tower and the fact that nobody understands a word of fucking English over there.
Tony says that London is where he will eventually find the love of his life, because somewhere out there, there's somebody who was made for him.
Personally, I don't agree with him, but as he's going through one of his periods of feeling terribly lonely, I can only help encourage him, and hope that after a few pints of strong lager at the pub tonight, he'll get back to being his normal self.