Tony's former partner, Pauline, has sent Tony an e-mail telling him that their little boy, Ray, is proving to be a bit of a handful at the moment.
Pauline has asked if Tony can go and visit the boy this weekend, and have a father to son chat, and try and get Ray to calm down, and start showing his mother some respect.
Well, of course, Tony wiped his hands of his son and Pauline a few years ago, telling me only recently that Ray's a little bastard, and Pauline, who he used to love almost as much as double cheeseburgers, is nothing more than a dirty slut, who has slept with more men that Tony's had pints of lager.
I reckon Tony's being a bit mean with Pauline, and Ray, and if Pauline had to take up stripping in seedy pubs, to make ends meet, that's hardly her fault.
I only met Ray once, and saw for myself that he was a hyperactive little terror, whose mastery of foul-language makes his father seem like a vicar.
Tony said that there's nothing he can do with the boy, except have him sent off to some sort of little bastard correctional centre, but as they don't exist, he's no nearer to solving the problem.
What's more, Tony doesn't want another ride on the emotional rollercoaster, which is how he refers to his time with Pauline, when he reckons their relationship mirrored that of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
Still, I'm not getting involved in the matter, because Tony's my mate, and whilst I would love to think that little Ray would benefit from Tony being around all of the time, playing happy families, it just isn't going to happen, because Tony's role in life is to accompany me to the pub, chase after women with me, and spend days on end sitting around, and doing nothing - WITH ME!