Tony's been thinking recently about his love life, and reckons that women are currently shunning him because he's unemployed.
Of course, I told my friend that unemployment may not be the only thing coming between him and true love, because he should also consider the fact that he's very fat, he finds it difficult to express himself without swearing, he drinks heavily, and he has an annoying habit of staring at people menacingly, if he thinks he's being made to look a fool.
I remember his last girlfriend as if it was only yesterday. She was called Pauline, was very shy and timid, and was madly in love with Tony. They had a child together, and their little boy seemed to make the happy family complete.
Sadly, Tony soon fell out of love with Pauline, and to escape her clutches, he moved to London with me, where he says he's a million miles away from Pauline, his little boy and a life of utter boredom.
Naturally, before parting company with the dreadful Pauline, Tony cleared their bank account of their life savings, which although he agrees was immoral, he considers the money as compensation for having to put up with Pauline and their son for so long.
I wasn't that bothered by Tony's cold-hearted theft, because the two of us blew all of the money in a single weekend, down at the pub, having the time of our lives.
Anyway, we've all moved on since then, and so the two of us are now off to the pub to have a few drinks, and work out exactly how Tony can boost his chances of finding true love with a woman, who he insists, should be prepared to accept him for what he is.