Needless to say, our livers have been taking a constant pounding during the Christmas holidays, as Tony and me have spent most of the time in our favourite pub, just at the end of our road, here, in south-east London.
But who can blame us?
After all, the television is just plain shit, it's too cold to go pickpocketing, and because our families hate us, we don't have any relatives to visit.
But on a positive note, the year looks like it's going to end on a high, after the boy and me got to know a couple of Brazillian stunners, who just happened to be in the pub yesterday, asking the way to Oxford Street.
Of course, we were immediately attracted to the girls by their tight curves, unblemished skin and figure-hugging clothes, and were delighted to see that their grasp of the English language meant that they could freely communicate with us, without the need to hire an interpreter.
The girls seemed more than impressed by Tony and me, which I reckon is because of the natural charm we both ooze, combined with the friendliness that we always reserve for such occasions. Then there's the fact that we were both playing with our Apple i-pads when the two damsons in distress seemed to be guided towards us, like two ships searching for a safe haven, in the wild storm that London sometimes seems to be.
Tony says that our i-pads are the key to converting possible sexual encounters into definite sexual encounters, because having such a device shows people that we've got money to spend on the latest technological hardware. (This may be the case for most people, but not for us, because our i-pads are of the unpaid variety, if you understand...)
Anyway, we're meeting the girls tonight, and will be taking them for a couple of cheeseburgers, and then to the cinema, before enticing them back to our flat, to do what only comes naturally.
I haven't seen Tony this happy for ages, and only hope that it's a sign of things to come!