Tonight, we're going to wine and dine our two new friends from Finland, who we met in the pub last night.
Unfortunately, the language barrier meant that we weren't even able to ask our two latest admirers their names, but because they both gave Tony and me all of the right signals, appear not to wear bras, and insisted on matching us pint for pint in what turned out to be a lager-fuelled evening, Tony reckons that conversation is the last thing that we should be thinking about tonight, when we hit the town with what he thinks are two of the sexiest women ever to come out of Finland.
I can see that my fat friend has a point, and whilst Tony has been resting his weary body all day, so that his batteries are fully charged for tonight, I can't help but think that this evening is going to be another total disaster.
Still, as the boy rightly says, it's nearly Christmas, there's nothing on the television tonight, and he's in the mood for double cheeseburgers, strong lager and then a fuckathon back at our flat.
Sid, the landlord of our favourite pub, says that the Finnish are a funny lot, who seem to get by on eating reindeer steaks, and spending their days knee-deep in snow.
Tony laughed and said that Sid was just jealous, because his best years are behind him, and that the girls know that with us they're guaranteed a FUN evening, with two guys who know what women want, when it comes to fine food and sexual pleasure.
I'm now going to see if there's a few phrases I can learn, in time for tonight, which should help Tony and me finish the day on a high, and impress our friends like they've never been impressed before.