Sunday, 12 February 2012

The Fastest Man In South-East London

Last night was karaoke competition night in the pub, and although there was some tough opposition, Tony managed to walk away with fifty pounds in cash, after winning the competition.
The boy never ceases to amaze me with his many hidden talents, and although he hardly comes across as a crooner, his rendidtion of My Way had the pub crying out for more.
Of course, we soon blew all of the cash on strong lager and cheap cigarettes, after which Tony took to the stage for a second time, delighting us all with his version of the Elvis Presley classic, It's Now Or Never.
Sid, the landlord of our favourite pub, reckons that Tony could have been a great singer, adding that he's much better that some of the singers who pop up from nowhere these days.
I agree with Sid, and am not surprised that Tony won last night's competition, because he's a man who has a winning mentality.
After all, the current holder of the pub's speed-drinking record is Tony, who just before Christmas managed to drink eight pints of lager in just under thirty minutes. Tony also holds the local how many cheeseburgers can you eat in three minutes record*, together with the regional title of Fastest Man To Drink Five Litres Of Ice Cream**.
Tony is proud of his achievements, and although some people would say that he's just a useless, fat bastard, who has nothing better to do all day, apart from taking part in eating and drinking competitions, I have to disagree, and only hope that he wins more money in the future, so we can continue to drink ourselves senseless, whilst having one hell of a good time!

* He managed to eat seven.
** He did it in six minutes, and thirty-seven seconds.

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