Monday, 1 October 2012

Having A Drink With A Parasite Called Bob

When she opened the front door we were greeted by their pet Alsatian. Bob swore at the dog, and told it to fuck off. Brenda looked at Bob and asked him if he had removed the dog shit from the front garden. As he took off his tracksuit top in the hallway, Bob looked at his wife, and told her that he had been too busy. Then he changed the subject, and asked me if wanted a beer. I said yes, which seemed to please him. I followed him to the kitchen, and sat down at the table. His last meal had been a Chinese takeaway, as the table was strewn with tinfoil containers. He gave me a beer and said he adored Chinese food. Brenda added that it was expensive, but even unemployed people could treat themselves every now and then. As I opened my can of lager she added that they had not had a holiday in over twenty years, as their unemployment benefit paid for just life’s necessities. She picked her nose and blamed the government. Bob sat back in his chair and said he needed a break. I took a swig from my can of cheap lager, and smiled at the pair of them.

Dave Cooper spending a "pleasant" moment in the company of Bob and Brenda - a pair of parasites from a rough housing estate. Extract taken from "Dave Cooper Is Unemployed" - an ebook and paperback book by Luke Ryman.

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