Tuesday, 17 September 2013
3 Things Which You DON'T Want To Hear
There you both are - your wife and you - enjoying a wonderful time in the countryside. The sun is beating down, the white wine is perfectly chilled and the picnic table is set up.
Out come the wine glasses, the napkins and the cutlery. Then come the plates, and as your wife reaches into the cool-bag, she pulls out some sandwiches.
You look up to the blue sky, and taking a sip of your Chardonnay, you look forward to dining on your bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches.
"They didn't have any bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches," she then announces, as she hands you an egg and cress sandwich.
Suddenly, your appetite has abandoned you.
You have been dreaming of this moment all week, and you rightly believe that wanting to picnic on bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches is hardly asking for a lot in life, is it?
But no! Marks and Bloody Spencer have buggered up your picnic.
You look at your wife and sniff. Bloody egg and cress!
Of course, there are other things in life which you'll never want to hear, but I haven't got all day to write bloody lists!
Luke Ryman is an indie author, and is the creator of Cooper & Joy - two of the oldest teenagers in town.