Friday, 21 February 2014

They're Back!





The story so far

 

Clare Green would have been delighted if her boyfriend, Deano, had taken her away on holiday to a far-flung, exotic destination, where the sun always shines, there is a sandy beach within spitting distance of their luxury hotel and the view from their balcony is a view to die for.

 

So how the hell did she end up in Normandy, where it rains all of the time, the nearest beach is miles away and their luxury hotel is a holiday home which has seen better days?

 

“Some boyfriends NEVER take their girlfriends on holiday,” explains Deano, as he tries to work out just how he’s going to make two weeks in rural France seem like fourteen days in Bali. And if the choice of destination isn’t enough to put a sledgehammer through their already fragile relationship, the idea of going on holiday with Deano’s best friend, Phil, does nothing to improve the situation.

 

“Two weeks in Normandy is better than nothing,” protests Deano, clearly annoyed by his girlfriend’s lack of gratitude.

“You’re just a bloody snob, Clare Green,” announces Sarah, Phil’s trashy girlfriend, who wears supermarket clothes and who is also coming along for the ride.

 

“Most boyfriends would never expect their girlfriends to have to spend two weeks in a hovel like THIS,” snaps Clare, as she surveys the stinking, filthy cesspit which is going to be home to her, Deano, Phil and Sarah for the next two weeks.

“Babe, you’re just being too negative. After all, in the garden there’s a private swimming pool,” replies Deano.

“You call THAT thing a swimming pool?” asks Clare, pointing to a rectangular hole in the ground, filled with rotting leaves and last year’s rubbish.

 

But at least there’s a bar in the village. At least there’s a place to eat fine food, drink great wine and try and imagine that one is in Bali. And there’s lots of pretty girls, too. There is a pretty girl called Emilie.

Clare always thought that she was normal. She always thought that boys go out with girls and girls only go out with boys. Two girls together? Yuck! She’s not a lesbian, except a pretty girl called Emilie has unlocked something deep inside of Clare Green.

 

Bali would have been better, but even Clare must admit that her holiday in Normandy hasn’t been that bad. She’s enjoyed the fine food, the great wine and she’s also discovered something about herself. Now she just wants to stay in Normandy and never return to England. She wants to stay with Emilie.

 

And then everything comes together, just as Clare Green wants it to. To hell with England and to hell with her humdrum job. The holiday home which at first seemed like a hovel is where she wants to spend the rest of her days. All she needs now is money to buy it with.

 

It’s the last day of the holiday.

 

An evening at a casino.

 

Jackpot!

 

Everything has come together.

 

And now Clare Green has made it this far, when it’s time to clean out the pool and think about what she’s going to do tonight, after a hard day’s work in rural France…


Get your copy now of "But Bloody France (Part 2) Kate or Wayne
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Welcome (back) to Normandy!

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