Wednesday, 17 September 2014

And the winner is...

Asbestos

Thanks to all of you who entered our recent competition (see previous post "Inside FOREVER") in which YOU were invited to send a tedious turd or pompous politician to prison, on Christmas day.

All the votes have been counted, and the Peter Pan of pop - aka Cliff Richard - is the one who will be doing time over the festive period, in one of Her Majesty's crumbling and overcrowded prisons.

Mr. & Mrs. D. Smith, from Leeds, are the first prize winners of the competition, and they will be flying off to the Greek island of Asbestos, next spring, for a wonderful two-week stay on this charmless and abandoned island. Well done to them, and may God go with them on, what is bound to be, a holiday from hell.

Yes, I know what you're thinking: is this one occasion when it would be better to stay in Leeds? Well, quite possibly - but that's for our northern friends to decide.

Mr. A. Nelson, from Norwich, wins the second prize of a weekend for two on the Isle of Wight. A visit to Parkhurst prison is part of his prize, where he will get the chance to eyeball, from a safe distance, some of Britain's most evil criminals.

Third prize goes to Mrs. J. Hartley, from Maidstone. Her prize is a copy of Cliff Richard: the golden years and a meal for two in a Travel Lodge of her choice.










Ten runners-up will receive a year's supply of sausages and charcoal, to help make next summer's barbecues something to remember.

The final votes were as follows:
Cliff Richard: 65%
Angela Merkel: 25%
Sepp Blatter: 6%
Roy Hodgson: 2%
Francois Hollande: 2%

We wish the Smiths a happy time on the isle of Asbestos.

Tune in on Christmas day to see how Cliff Richard adapts to prison life, and hope, like all of us, that this vile entertainer changes his ways and comes out a reformed character.

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