Friday, 1 May 2015

But Bloody France!








Clare clearly remembered the first time she had seen her boyfriend, even if it was now over a year ago since they had first met. He had danced badly all night and had smelt like a bloody poof. He had been wearing smart designer jeans and a plain white t-shirt. There was a hint of a fake tan, which made Deano stick out like a sore thumb, because in Margate people with tans like he had are thin on the ground.

But there was something about this bad dancer which had caught Clare’s eye, as she and her friends danced themselves senseless in a grotty Margate nightclub. The following Saturday one of her friends was going to get married, and so, to celebrate this life-changing event, Clare, Suzy, Chloe, Emma, Selina and Penny had decided to organise a drunken evening for Julie, by the end of which the girls would finish completely smashed, and Julie would be wondering if getting married was really her thing.

Emma, wanting to show off the result of her recent breast enlargement operation, was unsurprisingly chased across the dance floor by a number of teenage lads all wanting to get their hands on her prize assets. Of course, she had been flattered to have been pursued by so many testosterone-fuelled admirers, but the guy she really wanted to accept a drink from was the tattooed beast hovering next to Deano.

Clare cringed when realised that one of her best friends wanted nothing more than to spend a night with a shaven-headed monster, who had spent all evening pouring lager down his throat at an impressive rate, whilst laughing and joking with Deano. Clare hated men with tattoos, and after trying to persuade Emma that she was aiming her sights too low, she gave up when she saw that the tattooed one had moved in for the kill, and was already plying Emma with expensive cocktails.

Extract taken from "But Bloody France!" - part 1 of the "But Bloody France!" amusing trilogy, following the ups and downs in the life of Clare Green, twenty-something, from Margate in Kent.
Get the complete trilogy in "Clare's Holiday" - out now for Kindle via Amazon.

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