With his bloodshot eyes, broken nose and chipped front tooth, it's no wonder that our friend's success rate with women is LOW.
Is this the man you would introduce to your parents as your cuddly teddy bear cum future husband?
I think not.
Image the scene: a Sunday afternoon barbecue, with mummy, daddy, the neighbours and a few of daddy's colleagues.
The temperature is rising as the sausages sizzle, and the teddy bear from hell has had enough of talking politely about the weather. He has only one thing on his mind, and that is to get merrily drunk and to hell with the consequences.
His beer-drinking skills are impressive, and as one empty can follows another, the teddy bear unleashes a tirade of verbal abuse at mummy. The rest, as they say, is history.
THIS SUMMER, AVOID UPSETTING THE FUTURE IN-LAWS!
Be wise, be smart and be nice.